Is Divorce More Difficult for Women or Men?
Divorce is generally more stressful and difficult for men, according to the findings of a recent study.1 In fact, as these researchers discovered, men who are divorced or who are going through a divorce are:
- Far more likely to suffer from heart disease, strokes, and/or high blood pressure (when compared to married men)
- Nearly 40 percent more likely than married men to engage in risky behaviors and/or commit suicide.
3 Main Reasons Divorce Is More Stressful for Men
In explaining the above findings, researchers pointed to the following three factors:
- Divorced men can lose their sense of identity – It is not uncommon for men to define themselves by the role they play in their marriage, as these researchers explained. So, when the marriage falls apart, men can end up feeling like the foundation of their identity has been pulled out from under them. Without having a support system and a new way to rebuild their confidence, the loss of identity can give way to significant emotional distress.
- Divorced men are less likely to channel their grief in healthy ways. Generally, men are not predisposed to talking about their negative feelings, dealing with them head-on, and/or letting themselves “cry” on someone else’s shoulder to get through significant grief. This, researchers say, can lead men – far more often than women – to bottle up their grief, depression, or stress over divorce; and this, in turn, is far more likely to trigger more significant physical and mental health issues later.
- Divorce can challenge men’s paternal role – Another reason that divorce can be so stressful for men is that it can complicate their connection with and/or relationship to their children, as well as their greater sense of belonging and providing for a family. While distress and shame about the divorce can cause these feelings to snowball, making an effort to maintain a close relationship with children can help quell these negative feelings.
Other Reasons Why Divorce is More Stressful for Men
Divorce is widely recognized as a painful and stressful experience, but research suggests it can often be particularly taxing for men, both emotionally and mentally. While both men and women face struggles during a breakup, several specific factors contribute to why divorce can be more stressful for men. Here’s a closer look at the other reasons behind this.
Loss of Daily Routine and Stability
For men who were heavily involved in their family’s day-to-day life, the disruption of their routine can be particularly harsh. From losing regular contact with their children to changes in living arrangements, the loss of stability that comes with divorce can feel overwhelming. Many men find it difficult to adjust to living alone and managing the dynamics of co-parenting or shared custody.
Financial Strain and Responsibility
The financial impact of divorce is a significant stressor for many men. As the primary breadwinners in many households, the sudden shift in financial responsibilities can be overwhelming. Divorce settlements, alimony, and child support can create long-term financial obligations, leaving men feeling burdened by the need to maintain economic stability.
Social Isolation
After a divorce, many men experience social isolation, particularly if they lose mutual friends or no longer fit into the “couple” social dynamic. Men are more likely to withdraw and isolate themselves, which can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and depression. Without strong social support systems in place, they may have fewer avenues for expressing their emotions or seeking comfort.
Mental Health Struggles
Men are generally less likely to seek therapy or emotional support, which can lead to untreated mental health issues. Conditions such as depression, anxiety, and other mental health struggles may intensify during or after a divorce, especially if men lack the tools or support to process their emotions healthily.
Perception of Failure
For many men, divorce can feel like a personal failure. They may experience feelings of inadequacy or believe they have let down their family, particularly if they were raised with traditional views of marriage and masculinity. This sense of failure can lead to deep feelings of shame, which only compounds the stress associated with divorce.
While divorce is undoubtedly difficult for both parties, men often face specific challenges that make the process particularly stressful. From emotional suppression and societal expectations to the emotional and financial burdens they face, understanding these factors is crucial for offering the necessary support during such a challenging time.
What do you think about these researchers’ findings? Do you believe that researchers are right about divorce generally being more stressful for men? Please share your opinions with us on Facebook & Google+.
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1: Published in the Journal of Men’s Health
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