Top 9 Divorce Mistakes

Posted: 18 August, 2023

You are about to embark on a challenging journey that can sometimes be full of pitfalls, hidden traps, and unexpected routes. Hopefully, you have a good divorce lawyer who can warn you, and explain to you what is coming. Even then it’s good to do a little research and learn for yourself.
To help with your journey we’ve prepared a list of the top 9 divorce mistakes we see our clients make. This is not an exclusive list. There are a dozen more mistakes divorce clients make.

1. Allowing emotions to dictate the divorce proceedings

Naturally, divorce is an emotional experience. People who are going through a divorce often feel hurt, angry, sad and frustrated, but it’s important to keep your emotions under control as you finalize the divorce settlement. You need to remain calm, logical and rational throughout the process. Don’t be the person who is too emotionally attached and spends $5,000 in attorney fees for a $3,000 sofa.

2. Finalizing a divorce without a divorce attorney to review the documents

In extremely simple divorce cases, you may not need a divorce lawyer to review the documents. We wrote an article on; when to hire a divorce lawyer. However, even if you don’t need to hire a lawyer you should at least schedule a consult and have them review the documents you are about to sign. You are possibly about to sign one of the most important agreements you have every signed. Shouldn’t you get a quick review? An experienced family law attorney will spot any glaring issues.

3. Attempting to settle as quickly as possible

The process of a divorce can be agonizing, and it’s tempting to settle the divorce quickly. However, when people rush through the divorce proceedings they often regret the agreement they are left with, and it’s not always easy to change the decisions that have been made. It’s important that you take the time you need to consider each aspect of the agreement, and slowly work through the process so that the end result is beneficial and agreeable for both parties.

4. Using the divorce agreement to get back at your ex-spouse

“He who seeks revenge should dig two graves.” A spouse who feels wronged or slighted may try to use the divorce to get revenge. Trying to bring up tabloid fodder for the court, or allowing the kids to get involved. Don’t do it. We have been doing divorces for over a decade. Trust us when we tell you your ounce of revenge will turn into a pound of pain. Minimize the impulse to get revenge and focus on being equitable, not revengeful.

5. Allowing your spouse to get everything they want

While being overly aggressive is not ideal in a divorce situation, it’s also important to avoid being too passive. In an attempt to improve the proceedings, speed up the process or simply minimize the emotional pain, people can become passive as they negotiate with their spouses during a divorce. This usually leads to a weak agreement in which one party receives the majority of the assets and the other is left with less than they deserve. You’ll regret this divorce settlement two years later.

6. Arguing over what you want

Anger can insight many arguments throughout the divorce proceedings, but rarely are these arguments productive. In most cases, constant arguing and incessant bickering simply makes the divorce more contentious, delays the divorce, and costs thousands more. It is best to discuss your wants and needs with your divorce attorney, and allow them to represent your wishes.

7. Using your children as pawns

If there are children involved in the divorce, it’s critical that you do not use visitation or custody as a leverage, or a pawn. It is not fair to you or your ex-spouse, and it’s certainly not fair to your children. It is pivotal that both parties keep the best interest of the children in mind at all times, regardless of their personal feelings about the situation surrounding the divorce.

8. Surprising your spouse with divorce papers

In the movies, people often are taken by surprise as they are served divorce papers. While this makes for a good Hollywood scene, it’s not the ideal way to begin the process of divorce. Unless the situation is too contentious to involve a face-to-face discussion, the party who is initiating the divorce should attempt to provide paperwork in a private space where there can be a conversation. Try to avoid serving divorce papers at your spouse’s work, family functions or in a public setting.

9. Discussing the divorce with your children

Your children are an innocent party in the divorce, and it is only natural that they will continue to show love and affection for both of their parents. Do your best to keep your anger and frustrations to yourself, and do not talk bad about your spouse to your children. Talk with a custody lawyer before talking with your children. Try to keep everything status quo for the children.
If you are considering a divorce, contact RIGHT Lawyers at (702) 767-7611. Schedule a consultation and let us review your rights, and propose some good divorce and custody options.